Mum Stories - Naomi Gale from This is Naomi Gale
/As part of Isabella and Us. I will be bringing you a brand new blog series where each week a mum shares her story. I believe it is vitally important that we share our honest, vulnerable and incredible stories of our motherhood journey.
** Please be aware that you may find some of the stories potentially be upsetting or they may trigger something for you. If you do need further support please do seek advice from your GP or a mental health professional.
This week Naomi Gale from This is Naomi Gale shares “as I have hit my 30s, I have realised that I have really found myself as a woman after looking back at my experiences so far. There are many that have added to this but I wanted to focus on one on this post: our children are all conceived via fertility treatment and this journey we went on as a couple changed our lives in ways I never expected.”
A little bit about Naomi:
“ I am Naomi living in the Sussex Countryside (I'd love to say Brighton but we haven't the money for such a place) with my husband whom I met on POF.com just when internet dating had started to become a bigger 'thing'. We have three children- Arlo who has just turned 3 and twin girls who are 1 or 15 months if you are into the months chat. I run an Instagram account- ‘This is Naomi Gale’ sharing everything and anything and I am about to change the direction of my other business to focus on periods and body positivity by going back to my roots as a teacher.”
Naomi’s Story:
When my husband was diagnosed with Azoospermia back in the very first month of 2015, the shock was pretty huge. We were 20 somethings who had been trying for a few months who had been taught to use contraception because if you even looked at a sperm the chance of pregnancy was high. Well, that is what we are taught in schools right? Suddenly we were faced with the news that my husband didn't have a single swimmer so the chance of pregnancy was zero, nada- not a chance babe. What do you even do with that...?
We thought getting treatment on the NHS was a given as we hit all the criteria, well so we thought. Turns out my BMI was too low for consideration and what then happened, after 9 months of what can only be described as hell, was that I ended up on my tod (because that's what had to happen for me to try as soon as I needed to for my mental health) on the runway at Gatwick- ready to board a flight to Athens. Donor sperm opened up our eyes, hearts and world. Arlo was a result of this first trip and the girls, 20 thousand pounds later, were a result of a BOGOFF offer we didn't expect to get.
We are blessed beyond our wildest dreams to be parents to three beautiful children who have started the process of healing our hearts and relationship. Going through fertility treatment did a few things I would like to share. We could look back at the: "Oh poor us scenario" but for us, though it has been ridiculously painful at times, we are incredibly lucky to even have a child at the end of our journey.
- We have learnt that our relationship needs time and investment. We had an incredibly strong relationship which annoyed some others in fairness and it knocked it badly, but we now are going back to working harder than ever with each other to parent three young children and in turn to do this, build on our foundations.
- I personally learnt that I was blinkered to how far we have to go as a society to raise women up, open up about stigmas and smash taboos. This is something I have become even more passionate about since having my own children and wanting to make even a small part of the world a little easier for them to navigate and that starts with our home- being as open as we can.
-Money is just money. With less than you need it is difficult and yet without a single penny given to us from anywhere but banks and on a 'meh' wage from my husband and on an awful wage from myself (well it's hard to work a job that pays well with childcare when you have been a primary teacher and then twin childcare...don't even go there) so I just graced the aisles of Waitrose in the evening while hustling around them with my own business. We are three years into debt from treatment and though there have been some really, bloody tough days where 0% have ended and we were looking at a harsh reality. We are still going, keeping our heads above water and a roof over our heads with our mortgage. We live carefully and spend very wisely. We are proud of ourselves.
- As a parent to three 'miracle' children I find mum guilt hard. I rarely share I have it, I wouldn't say I hide it, but I don't openly share it often. I regularly have to tell myself that it's OK to say you are tired with three under three or now three children three and under. It's OK to find it a little challenging at times and to admit so. This is still something I am working on because when you have worked so hard for something, it is easy to dwell on that as opposed to looking forward.
One main thing I would like to always share however, is that when you have had fertility treatment, it shapes you in ways you cannot even imagine. It shows strength you didn't know you had. Your story will always be yours, your lives will never be exactly the same again and it is always something that is OK to reflect upon.
Naomi
** If this story has been upsetting or has triggered something for you and you do need further support please do seek advice from your GP or a mental health professional.**
You can see more of Naomi over at:
