Mum Stories - Karen Cannon from 365 Pearls of Wisdom
/As part of Isabella and Us. I will be bringing you a brand new blog series where each week a mum shares her story. I believe it is vitally important that we share our honest, vulnerable and incredible stories of our motherhood journey.
** Please be aware that you may find some of the stories potentially be upsetting or they may trigger something for you. If you do need further support please do seek advice from your GP or a mental health professional.
This week Karen Cannon from 365 Pearls of Wisdom shares “as a mum who has suffered with maternal mental health issues investing in myself has been key to staying well. Through self-care, holistic wellbeing practices and connecting to like minded mums I've built myself a toolkit that helps me through the ups and downs of parenting and I'm passionate about helping other mums do the same.”
A little bit about Karen:
“ I'm a women's wellbeing blogger, small business owner and work parent time for a well known parenting website and along side all of this I juggle being a mum of 3 - 2 girls who are 9 years old and 5 years old and I'm a new mum again to a 8 month old baby boy!”
Karen’s Story:
I had my first baby back in 2010 and like most mums I had a few wobbles here and there in the first few months but it wasn't until I suffered with a miscarriage a few years later that I seriously got smacked in the face by the full force of maternal mental health problems. I had found myself on the path of secondary infertility, battled to get any kind of support or diagnosis and suddenly fell pregnant only to suffer with lots of unexpected complications in the early stages and had to eventually have deal with the pregnancy ending before 12 weeks.
To say the least the whole experience broke me and I quite quickly unraveled and hit a very dark place. I spent the next six months being very unwell with my mental health, I felt so desperate and helpless but something clicked in me one days and I decided to take back some control on how I felt, I sought out holistic fertility treatment and through reflexology and hypnotherapy I got pregnant again exactly a year after I fell pregnant with the baby I lost. I was pregnant again, I even had the same due date!
This pregnancy was also filled with complications, what started out as a triplet pregnancy ended up with a singleton but I was so incredibly grateful that my useless body that had let me down before was able to nourish and grow even one healthy baby. My rainbow baby that I had cried my heart out over and so desperately longed for arrived early, in the middle of a major house move and relocation and it was intense. She was also a poorly baby with colic, reflux and a cow's milk protein allergy, and to top it off she screamed her head for everyone else but me, I couldn't even pass her to my mum for a few minutes without her melting down, and before I knew it was back in that dark place again and in full swing of postnatal depression questioning whether I should of had another baby and feel extremely guilty for being the worst mother in the world, or so I thought!
I knew though, in my heart and in my head that I need to take some control again. So I reached out to my health visitor, I poured my heart to my husband, family and friends that understood and had the most amazing PND worker help me deal with what I was going through, this support was integral to my recovery and being able to express out load what was going through my head, no matter how crazy it seemed, was so therapeutic for me.
As I began to get better I went in search of long term solutions to manage my wellbeing, I wanted to have some go-to ways of taking care of myself so when I felt my mental health slipping I could feel empowered manage it and feel in control. For me that long term management looked like small acts of kindness to myself that I could tap into every day. I discover the power of guided meditation when I coolant sleep, reading an inspiring book when my mind felt jumbled, using crystals and essential oils to raise my vibrations or relax when I needed and nourishing my body with foods that helped it work properly rather than work against it.
My mental health tool kit has lots of other bits and bobs to it that work to keep me buoyant and I've learnt to what helps me at various times depending on my mental cycle, energy levels and mood and reach out for what feels right at the time - sometimes it's a extra nap, a cup of coffee on my own for 10 minutes or just simply a hug from someone I know who will lift me. It's personal to me and I have crafted in over the years to reflect who I am and where I am at in my life.
Because a major part of me staying well does come from the support of the women around me I feel passionate about being that support to other women too. Helping them discover what makes them feel good and what they need to stay well is so important to me. Life as a mother really is a roller coasting and with every heart warming high there comes a low that can deplete us and rock our world, sharing my experiences with other mums through my blog and workshops gives me an opportunity to not only invest in myself but to invest in the wellbeing of other mothers too and that's really special.
Karen
