Mum Stories - Gem Nelson from Mamaestablished
/As part of Isabella and Us. I will be bringing you a brand new blog series where each week a mum shares her story. I believe it is vitally important that we share our honest, vulnerable and incredible stories of our motherhood journey.
** Please be aware that you may find some of the stories potentially be upsetting or they may trigger something for you. If you do need further support please do seek advice from your GP or a mental health professional.
This week Gem Nelson from Mamaestablished shares her story of being a single mother.
Gem’s Story:
Single mother, the two most scariest words ever written in the motherhood vocabulary.
Some look down on it and conform to stereotypical types and some think we are a sick covered, snot enrobed, solo spider catching super hero that makes mashed potato volcanoes and broccoli forests for dinner (I wish)
My name is Gem, I am 30 and I am here to tell you my short version of single motherhood in its rawest form.
I was married at 25, and had my daughter Pollyanna at 27, my marriage wasn’t perfect in fact it wasn’t particularly good in any way shape or form but those two words terrified me so much so I thought the only easy way through the world was to get by just as I was unhappy, scared for my safety, miserable and left with absolutely almost nothing to live for.
Then one day it’s happened just like I was a single mother, scared, confused and totally freaking out about how I would remove the gigantic moths that resided in my kitchen at night but ultimately more scared of how I would make a future for me and my daughter alone.
Would I be enough? can I give her everything? And more to the point what will I say when she asks me why her daddy isn’t around, are just some of the questions that swam around in my exhausted mind.
Months passed and let me tell you it was not easy finding my single mama feet, every play group I went to a few of the mums would look down on me and feel sorry for my unfortunate situation, I would leave early with some excuse feeling embarrassed but also feeling upset that people could be so judgemental.
Note to self, and note to any single mama reading this a little advice IGNORE THEM JUDGEY JANETS!
Small wins kept me going, one day I managed to actually plan a whole weeks shop around meal plans I went in with my little mini superhero sidekick and was out in 20 mins, I remember carrying 3 bags of shopping in each hand, using my foot to close the door with mini superhero on my shoulders I think that was the first moment I realised single mothers are absolutely kick ass I think I actually fist punched the air after in total joy.
Taking the first step into single motherhood can be absolutely terrifying, essentially for some it is a means of starting over like myself it is difficult but necessary to do so a few little steps I learned though my journey I would like to share with anyone facing the same journey as myself would be
Acknowledge the hurt! The first step of being able to move on is to acknowledge the pain and anger you’re feeling
Make a plan, some things may take a huge shift whether that be homewise financially or both the next step is to make sure you have a plan in place it’ll help you feel in control
Surround yourself with positive people, people that will pick you up and tell you rubbish jokes, bring you gin and wipe the snot from you and your little one(s)
Never read any negative stories, the worst thing I ever did was read all the stereotypical stories which made my journey at the beginning all the more harder for myself
Join a community on social media! by far one of the best tips! Which left me feeling empowered every single day I felt down or lost, there was an army of incredible single mamas to straighten my cape
Always remember, you are absolutely amazing and your children think that too.
So summed up what is a single mother well let me tell you.
A single mother is the bravest of brave, even when the world is falling apart the cape doesn’t slip for one second.
She is exhausted but will always find the last ounce of energy inside herself for that 20th bedtime story and 2000th baby shark dance.
She isn’t perfect she may shout, she may get stressed, she might think ultimately this is it I’ve had enough and dreams of a forever holiday away from it all.
But she will always come back down to earth calmly with her arms open, her heart so full and the warmest hugs that her children call home.
Wonder Woman ain’t got nothing on wonder woMUM.
Gem
** If this story has been upsetting or has triggered something for you and you do need further support please do seek advice from your GP or a mental health professional.**
You can see more of Gem over at:
