Guest Blog Post - Sam Reynolds, Founder of MummaBaby Space
/Corona-coaster Parenting
As the cart heaves itself slowly up the track, adrenalin builds. Knuckles turn white as you squeeze the safety bar even tighter, anticipating what will happen as you drop over the horizon.
Suddenly, a rush of air, your stomach drops and you open your mouth to scream with exhilarated terror as the cart flies into nothing and gravity thirstily gulps you down into a black hole.
That is how I felt in March as schools closed their gates, toilet roll vanished from every shelf around the country and online shopping cracked under pressure.
There was a sense of drama and mystery versus confusion and dread. I told myself it would be fine, after all, my list of ‘Things we can do during Lockdown’ was taped to my study wall!
However, by week two there were daggers at dawn! Boundaries were blurred, roles were confused and if the wifi dropped again there would be more tears!
The list had been forgotten. The novelty worn off. My daughter and I were in no mans land (somewhere between mother and daughter, student and teacher!)
The intensity of lockdown for any family has been noted. With nowhere to go, no-one to interact with other than immediate family and an orchestra of devices vying for air time, the overwhelm versus boredom conflict has descended in force.
Parenting through a pandemic has been a smouldering rumbling volcano of blurred boundaries, mixed identities, copious caffeine, snacks, bribes and deal making. It has been good, bad and ugly and it has definitely not been the idyllic hibernation I envisaged.
Being a mum of one pre tween daughter can sometimes feel like back to back corona coaster rides! However, this time together has taught me so much.
Between home schooling and entertaining our children, finding space for ourselves has been next to impossible. Being able to give our children a safe space to express themselves and adjust has been a priority but when that space becomes all you have, new ways need to be identified.
As the corona coaster flings us around tight bends, holding onto our sanity has never been harder, but along with my list of things to do I also wrote a list of some self care challenges that I was determined to incorporate to help me hold on to a little part of non lockdown mum!
My list:
Make a possy to put by my bed
Make a mood board to inspire and motivate me
paint my nails
Get up early and listen to birdsong
Bake!
Watch a candle
Have a cup of tea every day around the same time in my favourite pot and tea cup
Jump on the bed
Cloud gaze
Make yourself a cocktail
I am thrilled to report that I have done all of these things! It has offered a personal focus and rare sense of accomplishment. While my biggest parenting insecurities have been magnified and I witness the daily crashing of wheels falling off every level of patience, I have referred to this list and I have found joy.
While the corona coaster twists and turns, as does parenting, and as it would despite Corona. Yes, we are in unprecedented times and yes, the anxieties are high, but we have each other. We are all in this together, we are all being flung around, upside down (and inside out) We do not ride alone.
Despite the physical distancing this can bring us together emotionally, as women, as parents and as people. There is no right or wrong. We are feeling our way and every family will have a different dynamic and different intensities to manage.
Doing something positive for ourselves, every day, is a gift. A present. So why shouldn’t we give ourselves that space every day to enjoy the ‘present’?
When we ride a roller coaster, we are in the moment. We squeal and we feel every bump, every swing and every dip. We are living in the now, ups, downs, fast and slow. This is no different, so scream if you want to go faster!!!
Bio:
Sam is currently a mentored post natal doula who feels passionately about nurturing mothers during the fourth trimester both virtually and in person! She has one daughter and lives in the Guildford area. Sam’s self care comes in the form of yoga, walking her black labrador, spending time with the family and binge watching a good boxset! After three breast cancer diagnosis, she has a deep understanding of pregnancy and the transition to motherhood alongside health concerns and the far reaching effects and implications of any illness. Sam also runs Samspaces, a support group for anyone recovering from cancer treatment and adjusting to life again after a diagnosis.
You can see more of Sam over at:
