A Mother’s Space: The Power of Holding Space for One Another - Kim Barnard, Kimberley Barnard Coaching
/A Mother’s Space: The Power of Holding Space for One Another
The very concept of having space as a mother just doesn't seem right. Aren’t we supposed to be emotionally and physically available and posed to always give to our children?
When I became a mother I thought I was going to break through the conditioning of what women’s roles were within a family. I was going to do it differently! Slowly but surely though I started to embody all of the things I said I would never be. This outdated view of a mothers role played out in modern-day life was, to be honest, emotionally and physically depleting.
Many of us don’t live near family, we have no support system in place either for our child/children or ourselves. Mothers are feeling the pressure as they trying to do more than our grandmothers or mothers would have had to and most of the time with little to no support.
And as such we find ourselves searching for connection and support.
I too started to crave this. I searched for honest and open conversations about the impact of motherhood but found none. Instead offered up was well-meaning advice and solutions.
Then last year as I sat having coffee with a lady who was an acquaintance, she asked me, how I was and usually, I roll the same response off my tongue of 'being tired but fine’. That day was different though and I went from sipping tea to trying to stifle inconsolable sobs much to my embarrassment and the intrigue of onlookers.
She then did something no one had ever done, she sat, she listened and hugged me. She didn’t offer up advice, try to fix, have an opinion or relate it to her own experiences… it was new and it felt good to be seen and genuinely listened to. Up until that point in my motherhood journey, no one had ever done that and I came to understand what it was like to have space held for me.
Holding space for another mother means you bring your entire presence to them. You listen without judgement, letting go of the need to control, you give them your love and unconditional support without expectations. When we show up in this way, we allow each other to share openly and honestly without fear of judgement. There is so much power in being vulnerable with each other. We start to break down the stigmas, open up hard conversations and understand that we may share more in common than we realise.
We go searching for the answers outside of us but having space to talk and be listened to without fear of judgement brings an awareness that we might already have all the answers we are searching for.
My experiences and conversation prompted me to create a safe space for mothers to share without judgement and with full support. If you are interested in joining us at our next Mama Circle click here.
Bio:
Kim is a coach, parent and podcast host. Kim helps mothers rediscover who they are and reconnect to their power in the overwhelming landscape of motherhood.
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