Guest Blog Post - Clare Miller, Founder of Thriving Families
/Our world has stopped spinning … how will we cope as parents !
We are still a parent !
Our job as a parent still continues with a massive change in routine for us all with, the added pressure of uncertainty of what is going to happen next, and the juggle of childcare and work in a completely unusual way.
I know I’m struggling , the thought of juggling work, business and my kids is terrifying me.
I also acknowledge that the realisation of my children not being in school, with friends, following their usual routine will be hard on them emotionally too.
They have had groups, trips, assembly’s cancelled and for the little ones in a way that they can’t understand.
Some are excited about not being in school but I’m sure the novelty of not being there will soon wear off I’m sure and they miss their friends and their routine.
It’s important that we check in with them and us too.
Where I’m at right now …
I am terrible for overthinking , just ask my husband.
But in this time of uncertainty with all aspects of our life being impacted it’s hard not too.
I am seeing the home school resources being shared on social media, the routine charts being drawn out and I’m drowning in the thoughts of how the hell am I going to do all this, potentially until September.
I know they are helpful , but I feel that they are also putting an expectation of what needs to be done.
Is it just me that’s going to struggle ?
I feel as a parent I ‘ should’ enjoy the close family time but it’s so hard , when we are all used to going about our own lives independently and having the ‘time out’ from each other in the form of clubs, groups and social time. The realisation this is reduced and no longer available is hard and not knowing when we will get it back.
I feel guilt that I ‘ should’ be able to look after my own kids. I feel that the increased arguments will be an indication that I’m failing in my duties as a parent.
It’s made me realise how we all just keep spinning in this ‘fast paced’ world and when a piece of this is taken away, the impact is massive.
As life will pretty much come to a stop. There may be some changes when we come out of these hard times.
We will manage as we have no choice but the new ways of working and going out our daily lives will take a new perspective, and potentially help in new ways we hadn’t considered before.
How do you feel about everything!
As we know all children are different, ours are a prime example. One loves work , reading , being organised and getting stuff done and playing teacher.
The other has little interest in work, struggles to adapt to the different environment for learning and the amount of distractions on offer. There will also be numerous excuses of why things can’t be done. Doing homework is hard enough!
I then lose it, his reaction releasing a trigger in me and the whole idea of working from home goes out of the window!
Parent fail again.
Then throw a 2 year old who’s developing his own independence into the mix of chaos
He will climb over their work, tip the pens out, ask for paper and generally pose a distraction to everyone.
How will I cope? Is this just me?
I’m saying all of this as I want to let you know if you are struggling it’s ok, even though it’s hard to take this on board.
I’m working hard on my expectations and the pressure we will put on ourselves.
I know we will be spending a lot of our time outside as long as the weather is good. Or doing Joe Wicks PE video!
I remind myself that I am grateful that I work 3 days, so I avaliable for my children but the hard side is the realisation that we will be spending a lot of time together, which I know for us is going to be tough.
I don’t want this to be an ‘ Ive got a harder situation than you ‘ or a ‘they have it easy’
No one knows what is going on in people’s lives.
What I do want it to do is help people ( including me) to realise that
Squabbling siblings
Triggers to school work not being done
Spending too much time on technology
PJ days
Shouting and arguing
Messy house
Not seeming as organised as others
Not getting through all the work sent home from school
Relationship difficultiess
Not spending ‘enough’ time as a family
Is not a reflection on you as a good or bad parent!
It is normal life , these are the times that we learn from, there will be good times and not so good times.
There will be things we will do differently and if it’s not the best outcome, we will learn.
We haven’t experienced anything like this and we may not ever again.
Let’s join up together , support each other, not criticise or pass judgement on others.
We need to concentrate on the moment, hour by hour , day by day and week by week if that’s what it takes.
We will get through this together and as we have all been reminded recently let’s ‘ be kind’ to ourselves and others in our lives.
Clare x
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