Daily rituals for overall calm - Ella Mclachlan, Phoenix and Providence
/Daily rituals for overall calm
Looking after our mental and physical health as parents often feels hard to prioritise. Over the years I have found making time to go swimming in sea with friends and joining a yoga class (albeit on zoom during lockdown!) to be the places I can just be me and reconnect with myself. Perhaps for you, these places look like heading out for a run, meeting a friend for a child free coffee, or cooking an indulgent meal.
While having these ‘me places’ is important, if you feel you are constantly on the go until you get there, an underlying fizz of stress, then it is also important to have attainable, simple rituals that are doable throughout the day. Of course, there are days when the unexpected happens, a poorly child, a disaster at work, but I thought I would share with you a few rituals that I find help instil a sense of overall calm, even on a trying day.
Start as you mean to go on…
There is so much written about morning routines, what you should do to set yourself up for the day ahead. But in my opinion, keep it simple. Choose one thing that is important for you. For me it is getting up before my children to have a cup of tea, letting our dog into the garden and enjoying the first few breaths of fresh air.
Perhaps for you it could be writing in a journal, having a cuddle with your partner or reading a couple of pages of your book. If possible, make sure your phone is in another room overnight. Your morning calm moment should be about you, connecting with the rest of the world or reading a message about work is likely to send your stress levels rising whether you realise it or not.
And breathe…
There is no greater way to calm your parasympathetic nervous system than by breathing. Often, we don’t realise we are holding our breath until we let it go. When I was creating my Phoenix & Providence skincare range it was important to me that using the products not only soothed the skin but created a moment of self-connection. Each product has a breathing exercise included as a ‘ritual for use.’ Most of us have some sort of skincare routine which can be a good time to check in. A simple exercise once you have showered or moisturised is to take three deep breaths. On the first exhale tune into yourself, on the second exhale release any physical tension and on the third exhale release any emotional tension.
I have also found when I am washing up after dinner to be a good cue to remember to take some deep breaths. Check in with yourself, are you thirsty, tired or in need of a hug!
Walk for the sake of walking…
From having little ones strapped in carriers, to pacing behind balance biking toddlers, walking for me has always been an essential part of the day for my mental wellbeing. Now my children are at school, my first job is to walk the dog before I start work. I used to feel it was eating into my precious time but now view this as a vital part of my working day. Walking is when solutions to problems seem to appear and when I have my most creative ideas.
On days when it is difficult to fit in, an after dinner walk with my children is also a lovely end to our day together. Everyone feels so much better for being outside and for connecting with nature. Although there are times when they don’t want to go, they nearly always don’t want the walk to end either!
Try to build in a short walk with whatever plans you have for the day, whether it is on your lunchbreak or pushing a pram at naptime.
End of the day check in…
Once the children are in bed, find what is important to you to help you check in and reconnect. For me, I like to have a shower or a bath and write three gratitudes in my journal. Taking half an hour to transition from mum to just me is a great wind down for the evening. Perhaps for you it could be going for a short walk, having a nice cup or tea or some simple stretching exercises.
I hope you find these suggested rituals useful. Self-care shouldn’t add to your list of to- dos, make you feel guilty, or be prescribed by someone else. It should be simple; it should be what suits you and it should be done with a kindness to yourself.
Bio:
Inspired by the feelings of calm and connection Ella finds sea swimming, Phoenix and Providence skincare has been crafted for softer skin and a clearer mind, creating a sense of ritual with products that inspire presence and inner peace. Each product is infused with skin nourishing seaweed foraged from the shores of the tiny island of St. Martin’s in the Isles of Scilly, twenty eight miles off the coast of Cornwall.
Phoenix and Providence are the headline Sponsor for Issue 13 of Positive Wellbeing Zine for Mums.
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