Chasing Your Dreams Realistically Through All Seasons of Life - Cathrine Swift
/Chasing Your Dreams Realistically Through All Seasons of Life
There once was little girl who wanted to write about love and adventure. She tried and tried again as she grew, to make her dreams of becoming a published author come true. But whether her metaphorical dragons were self-doubt, imposter syndrome, abusive exes or poor time management, she didn’t get there until she was thirty years old. And a mother herself to another little girl surely already full of her own hopes and dreams.
That first little girl was me; Cathrine Swift.
And I am proud to say after two plus decades of honing my craft for writing and experiencing the beautiful (and sometimes terrifying) adventure of life, I finally did it. I took fate by the throat and decided it was time to make my dreams come true. I would not waste any more time.
In October of 2018, I got the idea for Let it Reign; a book that would change my life, and hopefully even one day change the world. While lying in bed nursing my daughter, thinking of her life and all the possibilities of her future, the character of Queen Amelia was born. And her story demanded to be written. It was by no means the first book I’d ever written, but the passion and creativity that comes from motherhood- especially those wild early months where the hormones are going insane- is not something to be wasted.
If you’re able to tap into it and have the privileged of prioritizing it, of course.
I won’t lie to you. It won’t be painless, no matter when you start.
My daughter is three now, and in fact, it’s almost gotten harder to keep writing. Before, there was naptime and early bedtimes where we co-slept. There was so much more time to write.
If you’re wondering how I both nursed and bed shared with my daughter while simultaneously writing a 430-page medieval romance, the answer is: I wrote it on my phone. And nearly three years later, it is a physical book we can all hold in our hands.
Nowadays, I squeeze in a few words here and there whenever I can between chores and pre-school homeschool, and self-care, and all the millions of things we do as people to keep our worlds spinning. While juggling a full-fledged author platform including marketing and promotion and maintaining a social media presence. It’s hard now in its own ways. Just as those early days of writing with one hand in the dark, with my other arm asleep, and one breast out was hard in its own unique way.
But that is one of the things I love about motherhood. It really forces us to prioritize the things truly important to us. It brings everything to earth. At least, that’s my experience, and I don’t think I’m alone.
I remember the moment I first saw my daughter. She was born via C-section, despite all our efforts to have a picture perfect at home water birth. And when the nurse came around the curtain and showed her to me, I finally felt as if I was part of something. The world. The universe. I don’t know, exactly. But I felt my heart and soul solidify with my body and even though I was laying down and was cut open and couldn’t feel my legs, I had never felt more solid or certain of who I was and what I wanted. And what I wanted, was her. To make her proud. To show her she could be absolutely anything she wanted to be.
And so, I started changing my life, bit by bit, day by day, to become someone she could be proud of. Someone who could inspire her to chase her dreams, whatever they may be.
Just like her birth, motherhood has turned out to be absolutely nothing like I envisioned. Neither is being an author. There are no pretty coffee shops with nice jazz music playing in the background for hours on end typing away at my laptop. There is no bedtime at 8pm where the lights are out and the door is closed and I have time to be a person again.
Instead, I am on an endless rollercoaster every day. And sometimes, we have those seasons of life. Sometimes our job is just to hold on and do our best. Whatever that looks like each day or week or month or year.
The important thing to remember when we have passions, especially as mothers, is that they are important. Not only to us. But to the people we love. To our children. We are their first example of what it looks like to achieve greatness, and how.
Are we doing it fiercely? Gently? Humbly? Are we going after what we want with kindness for ourselves and for others? Chasing our dreams with passion and drive? Stopping when we need to and taking care of ourselves?
Are we modelling the behaviour we hope our children will one day emulate in their own lives, as they strive to achieve their own dreams? And are we doing it in a way that honors who we are, in this time?
The greatest lesson motherhood has taught me so far is to be flexible. That may not sound ground-breaking to you, but I was never, ever a flexible person. I was the type who had to do something right that minute and I would work on it until it was done. I wouldn’t stop to eat or sleep sometimes. And if I got interrupted? Well, that was the universe telling me to give up. That what I was doing wasn’t good enough.
But gentle parenting a child, especially a high-needs one, is healing me of that. It’s making me learn to really fight for what I want, but also teaching me to slow down. To play more.
I won’t say it’s teaching me to find balance, because I personally don’t believe in this perfect ‘work-life balance’ they promise us moms exists somewhere.
But I do believe we can find a rhythm in our days.
A friend once told me, you can only be an absolute badass at two things every day. And every morning when you wake up, you gotta choose what those two things are gonna be.
Some days I pick wife and mother, and I let work and dishes slide. Other days I pick mother and work, and the chores get pushed to the next day, and my husband isn’t given the attention that I would love to give him. Some days I pick work and chores, and my daughter spends a bit too much watching shows and playing independently.
It’s never going to be Pinterest perfect. Life isn’t always Instagram worthy. But, if we are focused on the things that truly matter to us, day in and day out. . . if we have our priorities aligned and we know what we’re fighting for. . . and why we’re fighting for it, it is always worth it.
For me, I write to express myself creatively. To hold on to that piece of me, I was as a little girl who dreamed of riding dragons and falling in love around the world. Because she matters. How can she not, when I look at my daughter and see this tiny human so full of her own dreams?
I also write, to make the world a better place. For my daughter and her generation, and all the ones that come after it. And to inspire others to take control of their lives again. No matter what age your children are, or stage of life you are in.
It is never too late to make your passions and yourself a priority. And if you need a little help remembering that, just look to your left or your right. I bet there is a child somewhere watching you. Looking for guidance on how to make their dreams come true.
Bio:
Cathrine Swift is an international bestselling indie author of steamy and empowering multi-genre romance.
She strives to write novels that include diverse characters and responsible representation of people across races, religions, cultures, and sexual orientations. As a queer, indigenous woman, she believes it is important to strive for a world where our children can grow up seeing people like them in mainstream media no matter their skin color, heritage, beliefs, or who they choose to love.
Her debut novel, Let it Reign is available wherever books are sold across the internet in e-book, paperback and hardcover.
See more of Catherine over at:
Facebook | Website | Instagram | Book
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