Guest Blog Post - Jemma Wootton, Found of Jemma Wootton Massage
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Queen of Routine
Self care is so individual. It depends on a person’s situation, character, likes and dislikes and their own personal take on what it means to feel good. There are lots of things I’ve put into my self care tool kit over time, including, strangely enough, work.
Since leaving full time employment in the events industry, I run my own massage therapy business, specialising in pregnancy and postnatal care. It has enhanced my family life, provides flexibility around my own motherhood journey and allows me to spend every day doing something I love.
I have always enjoyed working hard and putting my skills and talents to good use, but running my own business brings a sense of satisfaction much greater than I found working for other people. So for me, work is now a form of self care. But I have to have routine. I love routine. I love knowing what I’m doing when, where and who with. It keeps me balanced and calm and without order to my day, I find myself feeling anxious about the lack of purpose. Even if it’s only a few minutes at the start of my day to mentally map out what’s on the to do list and roughly what comes when, I’m happy. It helps me to tackle the jobs that need doing, be on time, be consistent and it means I feel satisfied by bedtime that I’ve used my time wisely and achieved something.
Motherhood was the first hit to my life as queen of routine, as control was taken well and truly out of my hands. As I’m sure fellow mums know all too well, there is NO planning with a newborn baby. So you can only imagine the level of anxiety I hit when Covid-lockdown landed. Not only do I have a young baby who likes to scupper any routine and plans I make, there are now NO proper plans at all! So far, we've been known to stay in our pyjamas until well past breakfast, eat magnums in the garden at any time of day and we have absolutely nowhere to be. Time is not even a proper thing most days. It didn’t take long to notice the anxiety creeping in, traits I know all too well and the lack of enjoyment of just being with my husband and daughter, which is ironic considering that is all I sometimes long for when my husband works long, irregular weeks and I juggle being mummy with doing my job.
I’ve always been driven and motivated when it comes to work though, so I knew what was needed to get back on track. I drew a line under the first few days of self pity and jumped back onto the self care train. I have an incredibly supportive husband and we definitely have a Daddy’s girl, so I left them to play and took myself off to my office to get some routine back and map out some time each day for the things I knew would keep me afloat. Self care can be anything that makes you feel more like you and brings you enjoyment.
Here are my top tips on coping without a routine if you are a routine girl like me:
1. Make a list. I find I can relax more and even start to enjoy this strange new set up if I’ve unloaded all the thoughts, tasks and to dos from my brain. Prioritise them so you start with those that bring you the greatest sense of achievement - anything from getting a long avoided task ticked off to watching an entire box set are all valid!
2. Allocate some time each day for the things that will make you feel best by bedtime. So for me that’s quality time with my husband and baby girl, as well as time alone for reading, exercise, journaling (a new not-yet-quite-established hobby), or work. Whilst face to face client treatments are on hold at the moment, I have lots of areas of the business I am developing and rarely get chance to focus on.
3. Drop the guilt. This one is really tough for me as I always have the feeling I should be doing something, or worse, doing more. But this isn’t a usual situation, so don’t feel bad if you end up doing things you wouldn’t usually do. I'm learning to accept (or at least for now, go with) the unscheduled approach, as long as there is still space somewhere for what I know I need. I’m sure there is a lot to be gained from being pushed outside of our comfort zone now and again.
My hope is that we all come out of the Covid-19 situation with a renewed appreciation for time. It is the one thing people always complain of not having enough of and now many of us have been gifted a big, gaping expanse of unscheduled time. Time to be, time to think, time to play with our children and create new things, time to have proper conversations with our families and time to be grateful for everything good in our lives, and above all, for the people we are sharing it with.
Gratitude goes a long way to helping us appreciate the good and to be ok with the not so good. Despite the challenges we all may be facing, it’s so important to make space every day for self care, gratitude, love and laughter - with or without routine!
Stay strong,
Jemma
I am a massage therapist, specialising in pregnancy, postnatal and Swedish massage. I balance my time between my business and being mum to my almost one year old little girl. I take a holistic approach to my work and physical and mental wellbeing underpin everything I do.
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