Pregnancy

Pregnancy. I’ll start it by saying I found it really tough. I think I scared a few people off with how blunt I was when asked how I was finding being pregnant as my answer would always be ‘I hate it’. I should also start by saying that I felt very blessed to have been able to fall pregnant fairly quickly. I just found being pregnant really tough!

We found out we were pregnant on Easter Sunday last year. The 16th April to be exact. We’d done countless pregnancy tests the previous months while we were trying. I was so scared after I’d done the test, I put it on Chris’ (the husband) bedside table and quickly got back into bed. I was so nervous I was shaking. I kept asking if it was ready, the replies where no. Until hanging his arm off the side of the bed with the pregnancy test in his hand he finally gave in and showed me the test. It was positive (thankfully, how mean would that have been if it had of been negative). We were going to have a baby!

We told our immediate family the next day and carried on as normal. Only that lasted about 2 weeks. Then the morning sickness started. What started off as just feeling a little sick quickly turned to me being sick twice if not three times a day. I couldn’t keep anything down, I wasn’t hungry, I was exhausted and more often than not my face was bloodshot from the force of being sick. I struggled to do anything. I carried on as best I could but I couldn’t function properly. I was both physically and mentally exhausted.

At 8 weeks in we made the decision to tell people. Keeping the sickness a secret was no longer possible, I couldn’t go out without my sick bucket and I was just so exhausted that by 7pm each night I was asleep or in bed not able to do anything else. As my pregnancy continued so did the sickness. I was told it should end at about 12 weeks, well it didn’t. I continued being sick everyday at least twice a day.

At the start of my pregnancy we had been to the doctors to ask if there was anything they could give to help. The answer was no, basically deal with it. I didn’t go back, I just dealt with it. Which meant I spent most of my pregnancy at home or at work either feeling or being sick. I could no longer manage a meal. I just grazed where I could during the day. My diet basically consisted off burbon biscuits, sparkling water and not much else.

We tried as much as possible to go out for walks and spend as much time together. This meant lots of Netflix and not really much else. Our first date since finding out we were pregnant was a Nando’s lunch in July, over 3 months after finding out we were pregnant.

At 20 weeks we took a little break to see Harry Potter and the cursed child in London for 3 days. It was lovely to be away and thankfully I had a few weeks of no sickness during this time! This is definitely the time I felt at my best! One of the definite highlights of that trip was one of the security guys asking if I was pregnant! I barely had a bump but I was so happy someone had noticed. All I had wanted during my pregnancy was that glow, that lovely bump people talk about.

At 21 weeks and one of the most embarrassing things to happen to me during my pregnancy was being sick in a shopping centre car park. It was early one Sunday morning, parked up in a very open car park, for the Mamas and Papas Parent to be event and I was sick about 3 times in the car. Thankfully into the sick bucket. I laugh when I look back at it now but at the time it was so embarrassing.

As I got closer to the end of my pregnancy, the sickness continued. And at 25 weeks I ended up with an admission to hospital. I just couldn’t stop being sick. I couldn’t keep anything down and I had reduced movements as well. We went up to the hospital, I was monitored, given IV fluids and an anti sickness drug. This drug become my lifesaver! The doctors didn’t want me to keep taking it after 28 weeks. It would mean extra monitoring once Isabella was born. But it stopped me being sick and had no side affects for baby.

Fast forward to 36 weeks, lots more sickness, 2 growth scans, I finally had a bump, still no glow and I was knackered. At 36 weeks I finished my full time job as a teacher for maternity leave. That morning of my last day I went to the maternity day unit with reduced movements once more. They monitored me and everything was fine thankfully. But when I returned home my results for the Step B test had arrived, I was positive. I was so upset and angry, this meant no water birth, no birthing centre and no staying at home. Everything I had wanted for our birth had gone. I had a meltdown, lots of tears but doing the test was the best thing I could have done, yes it meant a birth with medical intervention but it meant a birth were our daughter was safe. 

The next 2 weeks flew by and at 38 weeks pregnant my husband had 2 days off, Thursday and Friday and we had made plans to spend some much needed quality time together. That Thursday morning I remember saying to my bump - now would be a really good time for you to come. We’d have Daddy for much longer if you came soon.

We spent the Thursday shopping, went out for lunch, came home and watched a film. I realised I hadn’t felt Isabella move much but I decided not to worry, we’d been busy all day. But on the Friday morning I still hadn’t felt much movement so I rang the Maternity Day Unit who told us to come up right away. We were monitored for a good few hours, there wasn’t much movement and my blood pressure was really high. So they made the decision to induce me the next day. 

I won’t say anymore about what happened as I’ll blog about my birth story too but everything was fine and she was delivered safely.

Being pregnant was one of the hardest things I have ever done and it put a lot of strain on my body and on the relationships with the people around me. I felt so guilty at not being able to do all the things I had done previously because I was just so exhausted with being so sick.

Because of the sickness I felt like a lot of my pregnancy was robbed from me and when I look back I feel upset about all the things we didn’t get to do before she arrived. But I feel so very blessed and lucky that I was able to have a baby, that although I was sick every day, my body somehow grew and nourished a baby and I definitely don’t take that for granted.

Emma x