Sewing for Self-Care - Kimberley Dean
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Sewing for Self-Care
Before I became a mum, I had a romantic fantasy about being on maternity leave: leisurely lunch dates with other mums, carrying my baby around in a sling all day, enjoying strolls in the sun, attending lots of baby groups and most importantly, I would have endless amounts of time for me(!) Little did I know this really would stay a fantasy.
Leisurely lunch dates with other mums didn’t provide the support I thought it would. I would leave crying after spending a couple of hours comparing my post-baby body, my mothering and my baby to other mums. It made me feel really anxious and like I wasn’t good enough.
Giving birth to a 9-pounder meant carrying my baby around for longer than 20 minutes gave me back ache and it wasn’t the bonding experience I was expecting. There were strolls in the sun, mainly to try and get my baby to sleep, which would leave me feeling exhausted. The old ‘sleep when your baby sleeps’ mantra is not as easy as it sounds.
I did join a number of baby groups and they were great for my little boy but I always felt on the outside. I didn’t know how to start talking to other mums and the only thing I had going on in my life was my baby and I was desperate to talk about something, anything, else! Becoming a mum had a huge impact on my identity and confidence and I just didn’t know who I was anymore.
In my life before becoming a mum I had been a therapist and worked for a mental health charity. I had been trained in perinatal mental health and had worked with a number of new mums, so thought I would be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster that was coming my way *news flash*, I wasn’t. The loneliness, anxiety, guilt, isolation and what felt like never ending tears left me feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
I find being a mum is so all-consuming and it had gotten to the point where I knew that I wasn’t being the best mum or partner that I could be and I needed to take some time for myself. I needed a break and time for some self-care.
Sewing used to be my way to switch off from everything and do something for me. I really enjoyed being creative and how the possibilities with sewing are endless! My little boys first Halloween was approaching, and I wanted to put him in something unique. This was the moment I realised I could make him something and my creative juices started flowing again. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on my sewing machine! So, what did I make? Some Halloween hareem pants and a skull bib. I absolutely loved being back at my machine and having a couple of hours to myself was just what I needed.
Since then, sewing has become my go-to for self-care when my mental and emotional wellbeing needs a top up. I have made numerous things for my little boy: leggings, tops, rompers and hats. It has become easier to be able to find time for myself as my little boy has gotten older and naps more regularly, and, before returning to work, I would take those 2 hours and sew as much as I could!
I’ve been back at work since April 2020 and the juggle is real! Weeks can go by when I haven’t touched my sewing machine, I don’t know when I will be able to next and I start to feel on the verge of being overwhelmed. I’ve realised that even when I don’t have as much time as I’d like there are still things I can do, I sort out my sewing box, organise my fabrics, cut out a pattern, watch YouTube sewing videos or decide what I’m going to make next. It may not be actual sewing but it helps get me into a creative headspace and that can be enough.
I decided to set up my Instagram account @kim_sew_fine so that it would encourage me to continue to find time for myself and to share my #mamamakes. Sewing is my main form of self-care and allows me to completely switch off from everything around me and focus on the here and now. My favourite thing to do is to put on some music or a podcast and just sew. It gives me the space and time to do something that I have to fully concentrate on, I can’t be thinking about work or the pile of washing up that needs doing and it allows me to be me again.
Bio:
I'm a mum to a very active 17-month old little boy who keeps me on my toes! I spend my days juggling working for a mental health charity and trying to tire him out.
I am a keen sewist and try to find as much time as I can to sew. I am using my recently set up Instagram page (@kim_sew_fine) as a way to document my sewing journey, life as a mum and experiences as a therapist.
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